One Month To Live: Love Completely

It has been a tragic week. The shooting of a pastor in Illinois, a teenager who gunned down 15 in Germany and a troubled young man who murdered 9 people in Alabama has brought a week of sadness. In each of those events, the day started as normally as any. By day’s end, death had come to claim their lives. You never know what a day will bring.

I asked you to take seriously this question: if you had just one month to live, how would you live your life? This is not a message about death but about life. Last week I encouraged you to live passionately and be fully alive each day you God gives you. Don’t defer or put off those things most important in life. Today, I want to encourage you to live your life in love.

In the long run, what matters most are the relationships that you cherish and define your life. Besides, we are Wesleyan Christians –which means that we are organized to live the Christian life along the disciplined way set out by John Wesley. He was clear about the disciplined Christian life. The end result is not people who are so perfect that no one can touch them; rather it is a people who are growing in love the way God had always intended for human beings to love. Our path is to grow in the love of Jesus so as to change the world –at least, our little corner of it. As you know, it is easier said than done.

Children are born to love. They are capable of so much love and give it freely. However, in just a few short years, so many blocks to loving and being loved appear. Hurts arise, misunderstandings happen, conflicts come out –and so much more takes place. Children can be as cruel to one another as adults often are. Fears, tears, wounds and pain mar our soul and spirit. Nearly anyone can have babies but it takes a loving, disciplined parent or set of parents along with a community that cares to raise a child that is able to love.

The source of that love is found in our relationship with Jesus. This is clear from the 15^th chapter of John’s gospel. The first 8 verses tell us that we are like branches on a grapevine. Only by being connected to the vine will we be nourished and live. The Christian life is not a religious life in the sense of doing religious things. It is a life connected to Jesus the Christ, who supplies us with God’s life. As we remain in his love, we are given the strength to love and to bear the fruit of love. His love gives us security.

Because God loves us completely, we are set free from the oppression of having to be perfect. We are set free from the judgmentalism of others. But we are also set free from our own need to judge others. We can see each person as loved of God –which gives us the strength to respect others as people made in the image of God. Moreover, we are given compassion for this world. We are learning to love as Jesus loves. Nonetheless, love is not easy and relationships are often very messy.

God created us to need one another and to work together. When God created the first human, God said out loud, “It’s not good to be alone.” God made us to complement each other. We need each other to be fully alive. No one is self-sufficient. And that is where it gets messy.

I live with two basic assumptions: God loves us totally. And, every one of us is whacked out in some way, shape or form. It’s like we all come with the wiring badly done. We are flawed, weird, odd, peculiar, strange—and some are kind of creepy! No exceptions. And if you think you are the exception, just ask those closest to you how odd or peculiar you really are!

If you have just one month to live, picking on other’s faults to make yourself feel better won’t help you to truly live these final days in love. If you knew you were going to say goodbye to this life and those you love most, it is best to begin with honesty about yourself.

Bob was a 70-some year old guy I saw in church and greeted at the door most Sundays. I got a call one day that he was in the hospital. I walked into his darkened room and he greeted me with the words, “I have pancreatic cancer.” He lived about 12 more weeks from that day and I was privileged to walk with him in those 12 weeks.

He had lived a messy life. However, ten years before his illness, he stopped drinking. He became a better husband and a very humbled dad. He spent time repairing walls and mending fences and learning how to be a Christian. He was, by his own admission, selfish, prideful, insecure, impatient, and angry. Health began when he stopped the drinking, and started seeing clearly and owned up to his faults. God was kind to give him those ten years. In those last weeks of his life, he made sure to tell those he loved the most—and had hurt the most—just how much he loved them and how he cherished their love. And when he died, he was able to bless those he loved most. What a privilege it was to witness that.

So, this is where a healthier life begins for you and me. It is where we can begin to love completely. We take a step of courage to admit that we have some broken things inside of us. We allow the Spirit begin to work at mending, repairing and rebuilding. The security of being loved by God and forgiven has the power to create lasting changes.

If you only knew how much God loves you, if you could just grasp how completely you are accepted by God, forgiven and how deeply the Spirit is at work in your life, it would knock your socks off! If you have all of God’s love, you have all the security you need.

If there is someone with whom you need to seek out and ask forgiveness, because you are forgiven, you can forgive. But what keeps you from taking the first step? The truth is, you don’t have a thousand years left. No one knows if they will be here tomorrow!

And if you have just one month to live, wouldn’t you want to have a treasury of memories where others remember you in love, rather than with hurt and anger and pain? Wouldn’t you want to leave behind a legacy of faith, hope and love?

Jesus completely loves and forgives and accepts you –warts and all. His love changes us so that our lives become a gift to others. His love transforms us so that our relationships are genuine, authentic and deep. His love gives you the power to love with deep, selfless, meaningful relationships.

The Gospel today reminds us that Jesus has chosen you. He has chosen to receive his love and to be a part of his vine that your life may bear much fruit—that your life may count. And it counts—as St. Paul reminds us in the famous love Chapter –I Corinthians 13—by loving.

May your life be greater than your years and may the fruit of your living bear seeds of love and life forever.

Anesthetized Living

Twice I have experienced anesthesia for surgery.  The effects of the anesthetic were surreal to me. It was like living in a fog. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, where I was or what was going on in those hours after awakening from the surgical procedures.  The anesthetic allowed for a painless surgery –which was a very good thing. The effects afterwards were a part of the process and couldn’t be helped. After a few hours, the mental fog clears and awareness, understanding and mental clarity returned.

I have seen people living life as though they were anesthetized. There is no sense of awareness or clarity. There is, instead, a perpetual unawareness — maybe to keep pain at bay or to defer taking responsibility for living.  The pursuit of mindless amusements or the desire to stuff something –anything– into their mouths and stomachs –or even their souls seems to be the point of daily life.

If I have just one month to live on this earth I want to be alive –fully alive– the entire time.  And why wouldn’t I want that every day –if God gives me more than another month?

I felt the cold on my face this morning and it felt good. Early March in Pennsylvania is a great time. You get sun, cold, wind, rain, warmth, snow –as we say here: “If you don’t like the weather in PA –just a wait a few minutes –it will change.” I felt the cold on my face, the chill of the air on a sunny morning. I felt very alive.

Later in the morning, I was at a check-out station at a Target store. The clerk moaned that it was, “soooo cold. When will August be here?” I said I enjoyed the cold air. It made me feel alive.  She made a funny face and gave me my receipt.  She said, “I wish every day was August.” I smiled. I had felt the cold air on my face again as I walked to my car. I felt very alive and grateful.

I don’t want to live an anesthetized life. I don’t want an existence where I an unaware, un-mindful, unclear. I don’t want an existence where I am not dreaming and finding ways to make those dreams a reality. I don’t want to waste my life wishing away my days now for days to come.  I would miss cold March mornings. I would miss feeling, thinking, being in this glorious physical world God made.

I have lived anesthetized days. I have been unaware, un-mindful and unclear –going through the motions of life but not living. Plowing through day after day like they are unlimited. They are not unlimited. We only get so many.  So, if I have to feel the cold or experience pain, or have down days, disappointments, sorrows as well as joys and blessings –I will know I am alive. Isn’t being alive is the best way to experience God in my life?  I do think so. –I know so.

Griefs, Grudges and Pain

The authors of the book, One Month To Live, ask the reader to consider in what areas of your life do you need to surrender those griefs, grudges, pains, hurts and angers.

If you and I have just one month to live, we would most certainly be in review of all that.  The question is, why do we hold on to that stuff? What does it accomplish to nurse such negative feelings?

25 years ago as a young pastor, I visited Tess, a 60-some lady who was in the final stages of cancer.  She had had a most difficult life, but there was something about her that was more than likable. She was honest and open. She was a gift to me as a young pastor of 30 because she became a teacher of sorts to me.  She had struggled with depression, social phobias, addictions and a lot of other things and was able to come to a place where she had processed so much that she was emotionally more healthy than at any time in her life. Except in one area. She had a deep seated resentment against a sister.

I went to see her on a Monday morning in her hospital room. She was not doing well, yet radiant. I asked about her weekend. She shared that her sister had visited with her. I said that was a nice thing. “No,” she replied. “You don’t understand. I have hated her for nearly 30 years. I got to thinking on Friday about why I had hated her–and I couldn’t come up with an answer. It was probably silly but I let it build up until it was huge. But I called her on Friday and I told her how sorry I was for what I had done to her and our family for all of these years. And guess what? She drove up to see me Saturday and stayed Sunday. I never realized she loved me for all of those years I hated her.”

When Tess passed away two weeks later, it was with her sister there at her side, holding her hand.

I have often reflected on that bedside conversation.  Tess was shared a truth with me.  Little things easily can become “big” things. Accounts that should have been settled long ago accrue a perverse sort of interest that drains the life and love from us. Pain has a way of creating a callous upon our soul that becomes larger than the hurt or wound it is designed to protect.

I sometimes think that we hold on to those griefs, grudges, pains, hurts and angers because it hurts so good.  And I know from experience we hold on to them too, as a badge of some kind. We wear it so others can see and they are then supposed to feel bad for us and bless our wallowing in self pity. And maybe we just don’t know how to let go of them.

I will spend time in reflection on the hurts, griefs, angers and pains and ask myself just why I hold on to them? They give a pretty poor return on the investment.  I will ask Jesus–the man acquainted with sorrows and griefs to guide me to explore as deeply as I can possibly go. And my prayer for this day is a time honored one:

Almighty God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires know and from whom no secrets are hid; cleanse the thoughts of my heart that I may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your name; through Christ our Lord. Amen

Is Security The Most Important Thing?

Helen Keller said, “Security is mostly just a superstition. It doesn’t exist in nature and it rarely happens to the children of men as a whole. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”

Why does our culture place so much emphasis on comfort and security? I am no different. Along with everyone else right now, I’ve been awfulizing about how much of a loss my pension has taken. Will I be able to retire in ten or twelve years and be comfortable? I am not minimizing the need to proactively plan ahead for retirement. One needs to do that– but is the point of life comfort and security? Faith reminds us that God will take care of us. But faith also dares us to risk living this life here and now.

Why does our culture place so much emphasis on comfort and security? To begin with, it feels good. It soothes our fears and anesthetizes our pain.  But that soothing and anesthetizing drains the life from our soul and spirit. It diminishes the greatness of soul that God has created in each of us. It makes us conforming and compliant.  No one is threatened by that kind of soul. No one is inspired by it, either. Like “easy listening” music — it is just there, but has no purpose other than to fill the air. (Has anyone ever been inspired by easy listening music? -If so, tell me about it. I’m all ears!)

Taking the One Month To Live theme seriously, asks me to think about taking a risk that matters. It must be something that needs to be done –completed– before my life is over. It has to be something that if left undone would be a shame to have not attempted it. That kind of risk is really just a matter of taking the next faithful step as the Spirit leads.

A quote by Dag Hammarskjold says, ” Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.“

That quote meant a great deal to me in the summer of 1985 as I retooled for ministry. It still means a lot to me.  It asked me to take a step of faith that was not easy, but I have never regretted it. It caused a great deal of “holy insecurity” as I had to learn all over again how to trust God.  It caused a lot of discomfort -but led for a greater ministry than I was capable of –or would have been capable of– had I not taken that step of faith.

Is security and comfort the most important thing?  If I have nothing greater to live for, then, probably they are. But, both the Keller  and the Hammarskjold quotes remind me that there are greater things in life than comfort and security. My walk with Jesus in this Lenten season also reminds me that there are greater things to live for.

If you are reading this, I’d be interested in knowing how the Spirit is prompting you to take risks and break out of the comfort and security for something greater.  I’d love to hear from you!

Someday. One Day. When. If.

Someday. One Day. When. If…

Those words are words full of wishes and hopes. But they are also words that we use to defer decisions and put off making the most of our time. When do we wake up and realize “...this…today…right now –this is my life“?

The question before me today is this: why is it that I don’t seem to get around to doing those things that I know are most important?

I know that the guilt CD gets inserted into our mental CD player right at this juncture. But I am not talking about those “ought” and “should” and “must” words. I am referring to those things that are the stuff of real life. (and no one needs a Cd called “guilt.” They are best discarded!)

Today, I totally goofed off with my good friend John –a fellow pastor. We both needed a change of scenery. We left off those tasks of visiting, planning, preparing, organizing, etc. We had a good lunch. Penne pasta with grilled vegetables. A big salad with arugula and Gorgonzola cheese. We went to Borders and had a dark, rich cup of coffee. We looked at books. We shared stories of this crazy vocation we love. We understand the pastoral life. We accept the strains and stresses along with the joys and victories of it. But we needed to step away from it for a time and have a good lunch and a cup of coffee. Two guys goofing off –it was great.

It feels good to say: today. We shared that time today –and didn’t put it off or say: “Let’s do lunch some time! -Have your people call my people” and laugh knowing we might never do it.

Why don’t I do that more often? Good question.

I’m sure the answer is ego –at least in part. Deferring one’s own needs is a typical pastor thing. We do want to be well thought of -well spoken of. We want people to think highly of us and pat us on the back for all the hard work and long hours we put in. The ego wants that, though it is a pretty poor pay off.

And another part of it is that we tend to think we have all the time in the world. Except –we don’t. We have today.

This is my life –my only today. I’m glad to have shared a good lunch and a rich cup of coffee with John. God bless John!

One Month To Live Lenten Series 2009

Today we began a four week series based on the book, One Month To Live, by Chris and Kerry Shook.   The Shooks have written a simple but poignantly effective book about living your life to the full after the example of Jesus.

Death is a part of life. Christians believe that death is a part of God’s plan for life. More over, because no one knows whether this is their last day on this earth or if they have a week, a month, a decade or more years ahead of them, it is vital that we live each day to the full.  Jesus’ live and his death teaches us how to live passionately, how to love fully, how to learn humbly and how to leave boldly.  No one could ever accuse Jesus of not being fully alive each day of his life.

Jesus’ relationship with God defined his life and ministry. From this vital relationship, Jesus chose his priorities, organized his disciples, conducted his ministry and lived his choices with integrity and with trust that God would make of his life a sacrifice of love that would change the world.  Jesus can teach us how to make our lives count and our days filled with grace.  Jesus chose the path of discipline –the discipline of putting God first, of being immersed in scripture, devoted to worship, active in works of mercy and justice and seeing by faith a greater kingdom for our world –the Kingdom of God.

As we consider that we do not hold the lease on another day or even the next breath, we want to live our lives in love towards God, others and ourselves. We want to live a life with no regrets, as the Shooks put it so eloquently in the book.  Over the next month, I will reflect each day in this blog from my reading of Scripture and from my reading of the One Month To Live book . I invite you to pick up the book and take the “One Month To Live” challenge.  The weekly sermon will be posted to the website. There is also a prayer journal you can download from our Christ Church website. I hope you will make good use of the discipline of journaling.

http://www.gbgm-umc.org/christumchurch/

As I write this first post, I have just heard of the tragic shooting at the First Baptist Church of Maryville, Illinois this morning.  Apparently, a man entered the sanctuary in the early service and shot the pastor to death. Others were also wounded. I am deeply saddened for this pastor, for his family and the church family at First Baptist and certainly saddened that a person would commit such a terrible act.  I will join the rest of the Christian community across the nation in prayer tonight concerning this sad event.  May the Holy Spirit surround the First Baptist Church family and the community of Maryville with grace and comfort.

Shalom, Bob

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